Anybody else get the very best ideas and downloads in the shower?! Here's today's morning musings: I'm going to challenge the idea that you can’t take time off from work to take care of yourSelf.
So many of my clients can “only” schedule with me after their workday is over. They can’t take a few hours off, come in a little later, take a long lunch or leave a little earlier because they don’t want to get "in trouble".
Honestly, I get it. Most of us only get so much vacation time a year and it seems to be continually shrinking or we want to save it for family vacations or emergencies with sick children. And if you’re self employed, you don’t get any vacation time. I get it.
But here’s where I think the universe, or maybe just our mind, plays a trick on us. We’ve been conditioned to go, go, go, work, work, work. Our value as humans is based on productivity standards some arbitrary men a century ago found was the maximum amount of work a person could perform before they started to get injuries. Productivity = value to an employer.
Ask yourself, "who benefits from my time and hard work?"
Hopefully you do with fair compensation and joy in the work you do, but ultimately, aren't you helping other people make a lot of money? Isn't it your labor that makes rich people richer?
It's capitalism (woohoo! we all get a chance to make money because we live in a free society!) and it's the way our world works, but sometimes it doesn’t really seem fair, and there is lots of change to be made, but that’s a topic for another day!
Getting back to the tricky universe. What we focus on grows. Period. If we focus on lack, all we see is lack and we seem to attract more “lack of” into our life. If, however, we focus on things like health, self-care and boundaries, we “attract” more behaviors that help us live in this space, i.e. our neural pathways become primed to look for more ways to nurture ourSelves and care for ourSelves.
When we prioritize our own needs, our nervous system becomes primed to seek out the things we need to care for ourSelf.
At first, this is difficult because our old neural pathways are well worn with years of prior experience, i.e. habits.
It takes intentionality to make different choices.
It is, actually, as easy as starting by saying “I’m going to take care of mySelf today and make mySelf a priority” and leaving work a few hours earlier. Or spending your money on something healing for yourSelf. Or doing whatever it takes to take care of You.
One of the best parts of all of this, is that when we prioritize ourSelf, others begin to offer us a little more respect and see our value a little more clearly (**ahem, cough, cough**, maybe the husband will stick a load of wet clothes in the dryer all.by.himself., or the kids will offer to clear the table)!
When we model self-care to our children, they learn to prioritize their health and well being, helping to break generational cycles of undervaluing Self, giving away our Self-agency, power and freedom to help others get rich at the expense of our mental, emotional and physical health. Honestly, valuing ourSelves helps make the world a better place for every living creature.
It’s not always the easy path; a lot of people love our lack of boundaries and willingness to do everything for them, but it’s important work that has ramifications throughout society.
It all starts with a choice - do I keep doing the same things knowing I’ll continue to get the same results or do I make a change to honor, better and prioritize mySelf for my health and the health of my family and ultimately the world?
It's up to you!
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